I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Randomize
