butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
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