One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Randomize
