I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
