so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I wish there were birth control emojis
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
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