please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
