hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
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