Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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