her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
She's the barista slut.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
