you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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