I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
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