What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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