Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
