think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
The dick lei will go down in squad history
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
