who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Randomize
