I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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