I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
A bitchslap is in order.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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