If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Randomize
