whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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