I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
