Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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