That's when you crack a 10am beer
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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