I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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