oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
