But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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