Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
