I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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