Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
