Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize
