Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
