I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
