a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
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