i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize