I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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