I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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