they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
