i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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