Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
