1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
