I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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