is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
