Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
