Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
only you would photoshop your dick
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
