I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Randomize
