Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
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