Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Randomize
