Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
