ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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