I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Randomize
