All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I think a kid would responsible me up
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
