the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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